*

i want.. someone to lie next to me and tell me he loves me so i can fall asleep

double date

v day i had a double date (: it was pretty awesome and not expensive. i suddenly feel sorry for boyfriends having to make this day special, reserve somewhere nice, pay..


lustyy

lovey


my first non date all girl valentine in awhile (:

side note. went out the other night and met this really cute guy! we were dancing for awhile and then we started talking what's he doing, where's he from blah blah and then i asked him what year is he and he was a FRESHMEN omg how embarrassing and i should have known cos you can only drink when you're 21 here and you need a wrist band and no he was not wearing one. so i kinda made some excuse and walked away. i got picked up by a freshmenn omgg (some people see no problem with this but no, i don't think i can date a lower classmen and did i mention we're not even born in the same decade??)

but he really is cute hee he just added me on facebook if you're interested

i'm the summer girl you enjoyed

someone asked me about changwen once, aren't you sad? if i were you i would be heartbroken.

yes i am.

except even my heart is retarded, it's chosen to break itself slowly, one little piece at a time. randomly, spontaneously, whenever it feels like it a small part will fall off. funny how it's breaking apart but it gets heavier. and each piece is so small i think this will take some time.

and somebody else asked me, can you really just forget it and let it go? and have no closure and not want to know anything, not have any explanation?

maybe if i did my heart could just shatter once and for all and then we could clean it up and move on instead of this very long tedious process of breaking, sweeping it away, breaking, sweeping, breaking... but i really just can't bear to know and be told, yes sorry you're not the one, it was fun and we tried but it just didn't work. sorry.

i feel like you've taken away from me the one thing that made me me. that made me hope and believe in everything. because if you love each other it'll always be ok right? love will always always find a way right? and we don't need anything as long as we love each other. but i can't do it anymore i can't tell people that relationships will work out. can't find something good and meaningful because i just don't really care to anymore i can't really love in the same way which was, what i could always do.

my heart needs a lot of tape, possibly some super glue.

singles awareness day

it's valentines and it's suppose to be a happy lovey dovey day. i feel so horrible about myself because of stupid boys and i don't really understand why i'm doing this to myself. i shouldn't have to feel this way. why do people i don't like always like me??

it's like with every person it gets worse and worse i'm not sure how it could even get worse after changwen but it's like i can't get into a good healthy relationship. i can't do myself a favor. with every one, it gets worse and it makes me worse and it spirals down from there.

i've decided to kick all my bad habits. and telling each one to leave me alone. i don't care if maybe there's one good one in there i don't want to do this anymore.

i love you guys but i don't know who to talk to. also because it's so secretive and no one really knows the circumstances. and also it's so difficult to admit. and it would mean i have to sort out my feelings to tell you how i feel but for now i think i'm happy dumping it in some corner and hoping it will be hidden in the dark and i can just go out and play

let's start this story over

hello new blog home (:
very random pictures
1. my clothes hanging in my room to dry hahaha stupid dryer shrinks everything
2. baby ice cream cone (:
3. sexyy mich and chan
4. vintage store finds