i'm the summer girl you enjoyed

someone asked me about changwen once, aren't you sad? if i were you i would be heartbroken.

yes i am.

except even my heart is retarded, it's chosen to break itself slowly, one little piece at a time. randomly, spontaneously, whenever it feels like it a small part will fall off. funny how it's breaking apart but it gets heavier. and each piece is so small i think this will take some time.

and somebody else asked me, can you really just forget it and let it go? and have no closure and not want to know anything, not have any explanation?

maybe if i did my heart could just shatter once and for all and then we could clean it up and move on instead of this very long tedious process of breaking, sweeping it away, breaking, sweeping, breaking... but i really just can't bear to know and be told, yes sorry you're not the one, it was fun and we tried but it just didn't work. sorry.

i feel like you've taken away from me the one thing that made me me. that made me hope and believe in everything. because if you love each other it'll always be ok right? love will always always find a way right? and we don't need anything as long as we love each other. but i can't do it anymore i can't tell people that relationships will work out. can't find something good and meaningful because i just don't really care to anymore i can't really love in the same way which was, what i could always do.

my heart needs a lot of tape, possibly some super glue.