melting pot

i'm hearing from arnold worldwide tomorrow to see if i get an offer. i'm so nervous i really hope i get it! here's my ultimate plan as for now. if i get arnold, i can turn down nike. i have one week to reply arnold which is until march 20, which is when maip replies me. if i get maip i turn down arnold. and still to maip unless i get a london firm.

i got rejected by m&c saatchi by the way ):

i only have ogilvy and ketchum in london left now and i'll hunt for more but...... it doesn't look promising.

as for the states, there's those three and i'm applying to leo burnett chicago now too. think i might stop searching for the states but keep going for london. i really want to be in london/with joanie ):

i think when it comes to career issues, i'm really pushy and assertive. but in all other areas of my life, i fail.

oh and the highlight of this weekend is that i lost my bracelet at a party. it just slipped off my hand, my london charm bracelet ): the party wasn't great either. i'm very bad at this. another thing to put on the pretenditneverhappened list.

not that this is redemption but. i went to church! we talked about the distortion of beauty. why is that only women feel the need to constantly beautify themselves and put on an appearance? that we think, we're made to think, that we'll only be accepted when our face is powdered and pretty? when we wonder if we're beautiful are we really worried about our physical appearance or are we asking if we're valuable? cherishable? lovable? why do we let people tell us what we're worth? i wish there was some way to change how little girls are brought up and socialized into this world, so that they can love themselves more. and look into a mirror and be happy instead of inspecting their faces for flaws.