war against the boys

ok i knew it nothing good ever happens (to me) thai boy HAS A GIRLFRIEND. i'm not sure how much worse it can get. oh wait it can! they've been together for 5 years which is a ridiculous length of time and he's leaving in one month.

i have one month to steal his heart

haha i did not mean that. i'm already letting it go cos it's just silly to pursue it and risk getting hurt.

i can't believe my luck recently seriously. first my phone. than the prank on my mysterious boy. then nike ): now this. i'm not sure which part of my life hasn't been messed with yet.

on the other hand, i guess i could still kind of see him (against every moral fiber in my body yes i do have a few) and hope i'm not the one who ends up getting hurt. that i can play him more than he's already played me.

i don't even know why i'm thinking of it from this perspective. it is all changwen's fault. ever since i met him, i always think that every man is a player. that they don't mean anything they say (i don't believe anything that comes out of this thai boys mouth. for example when he says i really do like you i've never clicked so well with someone i've known for two weeks i think we have something really good going on here.. i just laugh because he can't be serious right) that they're all out to play you. it's the boys against the girls haha i can't believe i've become so cynical this is not me. i wish i could be naive and silly and dumb and just fall for every word

his explanantion for cheating is just simply, every man cheats. which drives me crazy! that is not true! not ALL men cheat that's unfair! i refuse to believe it. and it's really not a legit reason because, it still means in the end i'll get hurt.

sigh well we've sad good bye. he had one drunken night when he texted me i know you're happier when you're with me just tell me please that you're more happy not sad when you're with me. haha. but i guess he's mature enough to leave me alone when i say i still don't think it's a good idea? (which is more than i can say about other boys) yes i am happier. but at the expense of someone else's happiness someone who you claim to love. and i'm not sure even the very weak moral fibers in my body can live with that.