oh it's you again

i'm going to start blogging again..

after this long pause.. sorry

10:55am

I love you. Look at all the signs. It finally feels like everyone abandoned me. Even when you were just hanging around, looking around, it didn’t feel like you left. But now you’re gone. Are you really? I’m sorry I’m so sorry I made a mistake. Please please say I’m worth overlooking this one mistake. Please choose me.

I don’t even know what to say. I know I did something wrong. If you ask me to explain I can’t really because the fact is I did do it. I won’t lie about it. I told you I would never lie to you, never keep anything from you.

You used to constantly ask, is there something you’re not telling me? Is there another guy did you do something? And the answer was always no. This time, I volunteered the information. I told you before it was asked because I love you I can’t keep anything from you I can’t lie to you. I never could. I want to be fair to you and give you everything. Even if it’s the decision to leave me.

I don’t want to do anything anymore. The only thing I want is, always was, you.

*

*

i love you
don't be silly
we need to take care of mao together ok?
like this! (:

http://www.pandafix.com/pandafix/2006/01/16_baby_pandas_.html

summer

its a wonderful feeling when you realize how happy you are with your life. how content you are with everything and don't wish for anything to be different. and i think about the future too and im happy. everyone and everything has been so good to me, i must have finally done something right. im simply, very happy.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

i've got love in my tummy

because of all my whining about no cake and the stupid ex, my boyfriend sent me an edible arrangement (: it is lovely fruits smothered in very decadent chocolate. yummmm. it really (almost) makes up for the lack of birthday cake. i was so happy when i got it! i couldn't stop laughing and smiling like an idiot haha (: it's hard to stay angry at someone who knows you best and seduces you with chocolate

i swear it's one third finished heehee

long distance really tests the decision part of love. sighh
i love you much

cheese biscuits

didn't have that much to do this weekend again (went to watch bruno which was a great mistake - don't watch it, wait for the pirated dvd) so started baking again (: cheese biscuits! i was like a factory worker pheww i think i have six dozen now hahaha

cheese biscuits topped with pecans!

factory worker izzy

not my heart or my head but my uterus

i think my actions and emotions have been controlled solely by my uterus lately. on friday i had a crazy junk food day. i ate a banana and watermelon for breakfast (normal) then a big piece of COOKIE CAKE for breakessrt (dessert for breakfast). lunch was a turkey avacado wrap (ok) followed by two peanut butter twix bars. then dinner was fast food chick filla omggg a whole burger and waffle fries AND a milkshake. omgggg

on top of that my boyfriend paranoia levels are way over the top too. it was the ex's birthday and he bought her a cake which yeah ok is a nice friendly thing to do blah blah blah but he didn't buy me a cake for my birthday ): i know that sounds like a kindergarden whine but i'm a the girlfriend right?? i didn't get a cake or anything at all as a matter of fact. why is she so special??

maybe part of the reason is that all my ex's are assholes and none have ever been as nice to me as he is to her. so in my mind his behavior is clearly irrational and lined with an ulterior motive. NO ONE SHOULD BE THAT NICE TO AN EX. especially an ex who just very recently became an ex!!!! arghhh what is so important about her that she deserves this treatment?

to make matters worse, i think i just promised i wouldn't dance with other boys even if we go on a break. i'm not sure how that happened. i was having lunch and reading this awesome ad magazine (examples below) when he called all pissed off that if i say i won't why can't i just promise? well promises aren't so flimsy darling; if i make them i never break them. sighh i somehow feel like my heart, influenced by my uterus and outrightly ignoring my head, was conned into that "choice". it is very unfair and asymmetrical, i am aware.

we fought about promises too because he didn't keep one. i knew he wouldn't it was made on a drunken whim. we've been arguing a lot lately i hate it it's never been like this. it always ends ok we make up and its even good in the sense that we talk and get things out of the way but we've never fought so much ): ):

it's hard when the future is so uncertain. it stinks.

well here are some of the best ads i've seen (communication ad's advertising annual agrees):

love the one you're with

on ex's
Suzanne runs her hands through her long, curly hair and continues, "Second of all, Leo and Andy are connected, by simple virtue of the fact that you love - or once loved - them both."
I give my sister a disconcerted look. "How do you figure?"
"Because," she says, "no matter how much or how little two people you love have in common...or whether they overlap or have a decade between them...or whether they hate each others guts or know absolutely nothing about one another... they're still linked in some strange way. They're still stuck in the same fraternity, just as you're in a sorority with everyone they've ever loved. There's just an unspoken kinship there, like it or not.'"

on cheating
A minute of silence passes and then Suzanne says, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” I say.
Suzanne pauses and then says, “Do you love him?”
I’m not sure who she means – Andy or Leo – but either way, I tell her yes, I do.
“Then don’t do this,” she says, obviously talking about Andy.
“Suzanne,” I say, glancing down the hall toward Leo. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes it is,” she says, cutting me off. “See, that’s the thing Ell. It really is that simple.”

on love
But maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.

texas cowboys

its the last morning of my short weekend trip to houston texas. the highlight of this trip was the much needed asian food haha hopefully all the char siew, bak kuh teh, prata, chin chow, dim sum and sushi will last me til august. sob

we also saw some awesome fireworks. possibly the best I've ever seen and they had these cheesy commentary with it like "houston we have a lift off!" and "one small step for man (small firework) one great leap for man kind (kaboom)"

it was a really hard trip for the boyfriend though cos I was staying with a guy friend, who is really completely platonic and I even got slightly annoyed with him towards the end. but yeah he called me like three four times a day, bbm all the time. it got exhausting. but I know when I think about it I can understand. given a change in position I would probably be the same. and once my phone died and he got super paranoid. but I know when I can't contact him I go a little crazy too. that's what long distance does to you.

I really love him though (: that's why I'm ok with it. and its only been three months. for some reason, after our big commitment future together talk, I'm having my own doubts now. sigh. I'm making sucha big commitment and.. were still young right? it seems like such big decisions like learning a new language and moving to a new country. am I really ready for it? or am I just blinding myself now?

well two good things came out of it hee one promise he made that I can't repeat cos you all will scold me. and my promise that my phone will never run out of battery.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

*

aftermath

i'm still a bit dazed and confused even though we've kind of talked. i know you're scared; so am i. i know moving to a foreign country for someone is a big step, i'm scared we won't be used to the proximity and dependence too. though i know i won't ever want to be dependent on you in any way and i want my own group of girlfriends, i don't know if that'll happen for sure. i don't know darling i can't see the future. but at least i want a future together. it hurt so much to know that you didn't even consider me in your future.

i don't really know if i've changed your mind. i know you're still doubtful.

went out tonight with some interns plus co workers and after two martinis and a mixer, i'm even more hesitant about me going to bangkok. what if i hate it?? i'm wavering about all the effort i have to put in to learn thai, to get visas, look for housing, a job. what if i can't find a job? i am putting so much on the line for you. yet i want to. i've always been kinda crazy/stupid this way right why stop now. argh i hope you're worth it.


oh lover, i'm old
you'll be out there and be thinking just of me
and i will find you down the road
and we'll return back home to where we're meant to be

cause i remember what we said
as we lay down to bed
we'll be back soon as we make history

cannot

i don't even know what to think. i can't think. erghh (blank) the boyfriend just told me that
we have no future together
he never thought we did
it makes him sad
but yeah sorry life's a bitch

really? and the reasons are just as absurd
i can't speak thai
we're not from the same country
our races are somehow incompatible
and he's really doing me a favor because it's not what i/my parents want

how does he know what i want??

so i'm not the most rationale person in the word. but this is what i want. i want to be with you, can't you see that? i'm willing to make all these sacrifices and try so hard, put in all this effort and now you tell me it's all for nothing, you never saw a future to begin with anyway. what have we been doing??

what am i suppose to do? please tell me. i'm at work. i can't think i can't concentrate i have so much work i don't understand. my heart hurts. i had to dry my tears with paper towels because i don't have tissue. maybe you were speaking in thai and.. someone please translate. i can't do this anymore. take it or leave it.

i heart bb

guess what? now i can blog from my bb!

love (:
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

mature panties

omg this is so embarrassing. so you know how you plan what clothes to wear? but you never plan panties right? i went to bed in bright blue panties then wore a dress to work. it's not that sheer, you guys have seen it before (no there's no big hole in the back) but for some reason you could see my panties! arghhh well kinda see. i thought you could see. i was so self conscious about it the whooole day ): the dress is tan colored by the way with a pattern! so i don't understand! arrrrrrr

anyway. the couple i'm living with (more precisely the woman) likes to buy things. EVERYTHING. her house is full of interesting junk. she has a closet full of hats. she makes sea shell necklaces. there's plates hanging on all the walls. and she recently accquired a pair of multi colored, kinda quilted pants that surely has indian or thai descent. its pretty awesome. anyway she bought me this dress! so nice right?? i wanted to pay her back but then she told me she bought it at a vintage store for TWO DOLLARS. holy shit if i could buy things for that cheap, my house would be full of junk too.


here's some other funky junk she's got.

the porch/sun garden room

dining room. the vine twined around the chandilier was added in by her

isn't this the most disgusting shit you have ever seen?? it's an heirloom tomato OMG it's so gross. it's supposed to be "meatier" than a normal tomato. who the hell wants to eat a meaty tomato??

YUCK

this is a french knife (i think) it's made specially to decorate watermelons. you know those pretty ridges you see on the side when people cut watermelons in half? yuuup here's how you do it.

much lovve.

weekend notes

this weekend was not that exciting. we did go to watch the proposal (i love ryan reynolds he's so hot but for some reason in this movie his eyes looked too close together. or they just had too many close ups of his face) and go to smiley's (this local bar that we said we're going to become regulars at)

it was at smiley's that i confirmed my suspicions that chris is gay. here's some clues:
1. his idol is britney spears, he's gone for her concerts
2. he's also gone for taylor swift's concerts
3. he made music videos from a remix of three of beyonce's songs
4. he lives with two girls
5. he calls people bitch regularly
but at smiley's he finally told me straight out and he's going to meet the guy he's semi dating over forth of july! sexciting. he's kinda doing long distance so we had a nice talk (:

oh one afternoon chris and i also went to falls park. this was before i knew his sexual orientation and the boyfriend almost got angry but it was ok in the end. falls park is pweetty. the crazy thing was that we saw this dude slide down the waterfall with nothing! just wearing shorts and a tee no shoes. OMG

chris the cutie

the waterfall the guy slide down! OMG!

work is getting crazy cos virginia my small boss left. the ranking goes like this

junior account executive (entry level) > account exec > account supervisor > account director

most accounts don't have directors; a single director overlooks a few accounts. i was intern/junior ae, now i'm doing ae stuff. god save me. so maybe if i get hired i won't be entry level. maybe

EXtra

i just had the worst nightmare ever. i was in a shopping mall. or somewhere. and talking to poom on the phone. we were kinda arguing about something, not a heated argument but i knew in my dream, that we were disagreeing. and then this other person comes on the phone, a voice that i can't identify but sounds vaguely male. then it kinda morphs and it's his ex! and she's like giving me relationship advice? WTH. like how i should be handling this situation, how we both should be reacting and how i can make everything better. all the while in a patronizing, oh you poor stupid girl, voice. i don't know where poom was but i remember being really mortified in the dream. and hanging up and wandering around the mall, lost. i didn't understand why he would do that. was it on purpose or out of sheer exasperation? because i'm not enough? because she's better and will always be better in the relationship? it was really horrible. i woke up really upset and called poom and he laughed at me ):

i think i kinda know why i had that dream. cos we've been kinda having problems about THE EX. ok as an ex myself, i can understand why you should remain friends. i always talk about wanting to be friends with daniel, although he blatantly doesn't want to be. so yes, i can understand it's hurtful to see someone who was your best friend suddenly kick you out of their life. but at the same time, you can't really be friends. you can be acquaintances. there is a line. especially when you broke up LESS THAN SIX MONTHS AGO. RAWR. and i think you need time apart, you can't be friends immediately. and it's so obviously she still likes him!!!! but i hate to be the bitch! argh. ): i mean i know its hard but seriously get a life you stupid bitch. i know he's trying to protect her, god only knows why. he denies it but once it slipped and he actually said it, but i didn't want to say anything about it. sighh i want to be a good understanding girlfriend. i really do.

i thought all the craziness was over? argh. i guess once a crazy, always a crazy.

*

If a flower would wither at the end of the day, then why did it blossom in the first place?
If one was destined to be heartbroken from the start, why did one fall in love at the beginning?

exactly.

food/fire/fuzz.

last weekend was pretty fuun. on friday night my american parents (because i don't know what else to call the couple i'm living with) had a dinner party that they invited me too. it was a pretty big affair and she cooked for three days to prepare for it! we had baked salmon with strawberries, a tomato pie, basil chicken, mozzerela and watermelon salad and mayo less coleslaw with apples and pecans. and the hors d'oeuvres were really yummy! cheese biscuits with a pecan on top and dehydrated lady's finger (it's actually really really good, crunchy and healthy) among other things.

pimm's cup! the best summer drink ever. pimm's liquor+ginger ale+sprite+lemons

all the different cups for all the different drinks!

one of the hors d'oeuvres in a glass piano (:

the mozzerella and watermelon salad

apple slaw

one of the other interns randomly decided to buy fireworks so on saturday night we had a fireworks party (: complete with rum and ginger ale! (which really tastes like cream soda yumm) i think the photos turned out pretty awesome



these were really cool cos they were roman candles which means like a few rays of fireworks pop out in three second intervals. cos it was dark and at f3.5, the light rays were all captured! the shutter was open for like 30 seconds i swear



so i guess it's getting a lot better here (: more to do and more people. today i went to volunteer at these womens' facility for mothers recovering from drug abuse. so when they go for their weekly two hour narcotics anonymous meeting, we look after the babies! they are so cuute omggg one of them (10 months) has hair that's like a fuzzy peach. he will be referred to as "peach head" from now forth. peach head can't walk but likes to crawl and climb. he thought i was a jungle gym. he also likes to drool. alot. but is forgiven cos i get to rub his fuzzy little peach head and fat little belly. when peach head lies on your lap on his back and you pull his legs up to his face, he giggles. he's so cuuute. i baby talked for a solid two hours. i'm going back every week to help out. but, things i will hire professions to do for my baby in the future:

1. check diaper
2. change diaper
3. burp baby
4. clean up baby throw up
5. wipe up drool

oh yeah and peach head's real name is caleb.

until next timee

alternatives to retail therapy

i started this post about this weekend that i never finished ack sorryy getting to it

i just made banana bread! two mini loaves. (they are really not that big about six inches long, three inches wide)


the consequence of your boyfriend telling you about the multiple girls he's dated. at the same time. whilst with his long term girlfriend of five years. the only silver lining to this is that he says he's learnt not to cheat. mmhmmm

i'm not really sure what to make of it. because. well i mean omg i accepted changwen and gave him the benefit of the doubt right?? that somewhere deep within there was a good person? (no) so. i can handle this?

it makes me sad. i honestly have no idea what he's doing right now, except for whatever he tells me. i don't want to be a crazy paranoid girlfriend and i really do believe every word he tells me. i trust him. please don't let me down.

i love you much.

don't believe everything you see on tv

so on monday i went for my first commercial shoot! it was exciting and boring at the same time haha we spent 10 hours shooting about 10 seconds worth of commercial so just imagine all the down time

it was for an american restaurant commercial, the sizzling steak, pouring sauces kind. it all looks good in the commercial, but it is gross to watch on set. the charred grill marks on the steaks? they're manually put on with a hot rod. and if that still doesn't get them dark and charred looking enough, we fill it in with a sharpie marker! ditto to the grilled veggie skewers. The steaks also aren’t cooked, instead a blow torch is used to just make sure the surface of the steak is all cooked to the same color.

the beginning

adding extra color to the food!

filming the flipping on the hero steak

blow torching it to perfection mmhmmm

adding grill marks!

they are huge on precision too and i mean really anal things. for some reason because i was "the intern" i was supposedly the least biased and had the most audience perception so i was asked to make the final calls on their anal critiques. for example, when we were filming the steak on the grill part, the height on the flames were debated on for 20 minutes?? and the steak that's like getting filmed is called the "hero steak" hahaha

the drinks are all fake too. just colored water with fake ice cubes that never melt. the salad has a mound of mashed potato underneath it to keep it high and fluffy and water is sprayed on for that dewy look. all the meat is also soaked in oil so under light they glisten and look yummy (although i just think it looks fatty)

we spent another 15 minutes arguing about the color of the ice tea. and whether it was ice tea colored or too pepsi colored. or too diluted. and about the brush that’s used (you see about half an inch of this brush by the way) to brush on the bbq sauce. and about the direction the knife was pointing.

the first cut of the commercial came out end of day tuesday and we just re edited stuff so its ready to air on monday. it’s all so fast its exciting! i think i could get used to this. but i will never be able to watch food commercials in quite the same way anymore

our house

every house that you see in this neighborhood is different. i swear. it's one of my favorite things about this place because, just walking around is nice to look at everything. so here's some random houses. the first one when i saw it, the first thing i thought of was oh i can imagine poom and i living here haha its the pillars.

side track: i am in love! you will have to come to bangkok to look for me in the future hee <3

hello south carolina

so it's been a week since i've arrived. i really should have started earlier but ok brief summary until today.

j u ne 5 fr i d a y
just arrived in the afternoon. settled in went to get basic necessities (shampoo, chocolate etc) and the bank. so by the time i got to the house i'm staying at it was 5pm? i was so depressed i just cried myself to sleep.
ok some explanation. i'm staying with an old couple (mr and mrs smeaton) i get like this little part of the house with a bed room connected to a bathroom and a little living room with arm chairs, tv, fridge and the like. they are really nice don't get me wrong, like grandparents. but yeah being in this little drab sleepy town and dreaming about new york just really made me. every time i thought about it i would feel sorry for myself. i was stuck here i couldn't get any where because i have no car there's no public transport. down town consists of one street with restaurants which is a half hour walk away. i don't know anyone at all. i can't groccery shop. my internet sucked. i have to walk to work 1.5 miles (25 minutes?) everyday. you can't buy alcohol after 7pm wtf. basically i was trapped with nothing to do except cry.

the kitchen

my bedroom! chandelierrr (:

my bathroom

the disaster zone

j u n e6 s a t ur da y
woke up super early. nothing to do. really just spent the whole day in tears. i hate feeling sorry for myself like that and sobbing in my own self pity. it is not that bad. there are much worse things. i think if i didn't have a boyfriend who was willing to listen to me sob and talk to me i would have spent the whole day in bed.
at night i went to this shakespeare in the park play with mr smeaton. the park was pretty nice there's like a mini waterfall and bridge and all.

ju n e 7 sun day
please refer to june 6, saturday.

j u n e 8 mo n d a y
work! finally started! slightly better cos i finally had something to do omg. the company is super nice. the people are friendly and the office is filled with toys and dogs. there's a pool table. a punching bag. a few xboxes and play stations and on one floor, everyone has their own wii! there's a little serenity garden. basketball hoops and random projector screen tvs. i like it (:

fa s tf o r war d
i'm working on an account for this restaurant which is like a chilli's or tgif kinda thing. except its called FATZ CAFE which kinda freaks me out because, well if i'm going to sell it i have to try the food right? FATZ. we tried it out one day for lunch and it lives up to its name. the portions are huge. they put cheese under everything but well hidden so you get in those extra calories without even noticing! the vegetables which you think are healthy are smothered in cream or cheese sauce. anddd the bread they serve are fried! fantastic huh?

my team is pretty nice too and i think i'm lucky cos my intern program is different from the other 8 interns. i actually get a primary account whereas they are more like floaters, doing random tasks. i like the focus and depth of my internship. and i like it that this company is full service, which means they do every single aspect of advertising - account management, media, creative, production, digital. so i can get my hands on everything. next monday i'm going for a commercial shoot! sexxcited (: its one of those where they show lots of yummy food being cooked etc for a special limited promotion and we have a food stylist to do that! isn't that interesting to work as someone who makes food look pretty?? there's a dish that has two prawns on it and to ensure we get the "prettiest" ones (she actually said that) we need a 5 lbs bag of shrimp omg and we have to buy the exact brand of everything that the restaurant uses. i can't wait for the shoot!

ok so the other interns are nice but, well most of them are southerns (suuhhh then errs) and they are just different. they sleep at 9pm. the girls think waxing is some new fangled thing. they work out EVERYDAY sometimes before work, which starts at 8.30am. omg. sorry i can't keep up. they are nice but. like those nice dumb girls you know? one guy from washington dc is ok. as in more interesting and real. less fluffy. more worldly.

i'm a lot better now. not maniac crazy crying. my period came too. this weekend i went out for dinner with the inerns on friday then to this bar which is supposed to be nice but not really. they have nice margaritas though! last night we watched this scary movie (the descent, i hate it) at the guys house and had moscato and cookies haha so i guess it's getting better (:

sorry this is super ass long. there's actually much more details but i'll spare you. oh random facts:
i got a bike! yayy transport other than my two feeties (:
i'm going for yoga classes today hee the other interns are hiking but. well. hiking no thanks.
i had grits for the first time in my life today. it's this southern grain mush thing. don't try it. (the old couple always offer me food when they cook and they always do sunday brunch. today we had peppers and mushroom omelettes. garlic butter grits. peaches and toast. last week we made waffles! with raspberry and blueberry and greek yoghurt)
oh and we actually write the menus for the restaurant haha so i spent half a day coming up with yummy sounding names for dishes like grilled chicken (5 spice charleston chicken) and seafood salad (citrus seabreeze salad), subject to client approval. (the client is like a real housewife of new jersey).

ok long enough haha see y'allll

random thought. i feel fine to talk to changwen now, should i? because i finally think i'm totally over him. as in if he starts talking to me first laa. no sexual tension haha

it's been a while

it's been a while. in a whirlwind of love and lust (yeah so he's pretty darn hot and i'm not scared to admit it), i fell into a relationship and now, i've been pitifully spat out. oh why god why

to be fair, we're trying to maintain it. somehow. but maybe it is just all a better disguised lie than the changwen affair and in the end, it will turn out to be the same. he hasn't called me. in 24 hours. is that a cause for concern? the last time we spoke/texted was yesterday morning

):

what am i doing?

in a silly, blinded way i love him though. i'll admit i'm being ridiculous, but love is ridiculous sometimes right? i can't help how my heart behaves. i really have no control over it. i think i was born without that little wire that connects my heart and brain.

):

what am i going to do?

i'm in hong kong now! first day of hong kong shopping is over! woohoooo only acquired 2 pairs of shoes, a denim dress, a pair of cool checkered pants and essential sheer black stockings. they all add to my wardrobe. i need

a hat. omg i need a flat top, straw hat.
those gold fether earrings from the darings!
a bikini
suspenders? (NO)
a new heart <3

going to yum cha later! i woke up at 5:38am yesterday and 6am today improvement right? cept i also slept an hour later. been watching lipstick jungle! it's really pseudo sex and the city but not half as good. however, their clothes are a lot more realistic and definitely nice to look at. i want to be victory ford!


me: what am i going to do without you?
him: you'll be fine. you can go to the dude to look for me
me: but you won't be there
him: you can come to willow tree
me: but you won't be there
him: go to gg brown
me: but you won't be there anymore! who's going to line up for yogo with me? who's going to wake me up in the morning? who am i going to call everyday? what should i do?

i love you; why isn't that enough?

beautiful disaster

she loves her mama's lemonade,
hates the sounds that goodbyes make.
she prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
she swears that there's no difference,
between the lies and complements
it's all the same if everybody leaves her

and every magazine tells her she's not good enough,
the pictures that she sees make her cry.

and she would change everything, everything just ask her.
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
and she needs someone to take her home.

she's giving boys what they want,
tries to act so nonchalant,
afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.
she never stays the same for long,
assuming that she'll get it wrong.
perfect only in her imperfection.

she's not a drama queen,
she doesn't want to feel this way,
only twenty-one but tired.

she would change everything for happy ever after.
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,
but she just needs someone to take her home.

because she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok.

and she would change everything, everything just ask her.
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster,

but she just needs someone to take her home
and just needs someone to take her home.

(blank)

i am really stupid. this is really stupid. i don't want to do this anymore

because i won't ever ever have you. i should have realized after round 1 of bad karma why am i putting myself through round 2?

i also feel like i'm slightly bipolar omg

iheart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

i've realized that you have really little time when you're in love

haha

and two hours can suddenly disappear because, well i really don't know what we were talking about that it's just gone in a flash

we get along so well. he's like changwen but
more gentlemanly in every way possible
more mature
more caring
more genuine and sincere
MORE MONEY (haha i'm kidding this doesn't matter just wanted to make you laugh heehee)
sweeter

he said i love you. i doubt he truly understands and means it. i think i love him. i'm probably deluded

everything else wise,
i'm starting to study for finals sighh
planning summer plans! please come to hong kong to keep me company
making south carolina arrangement
graduation ):

kid tueng

kid tueng.

?

it means i miss you. too bad i was engineered with an expiry date.

let's not talk about it.. it makes me sad and my heart hurt ): why do you have to expire?

things have expiry dates for a reason honey. so you won't use it when it turns bad, and it's bad for you. but you have the best product now trust me.

**

i'm kinda getting really sad. i don't know what to do.

i want you good or bad ):

grad ball!

there was a professional photographer at the event. for serious.

i don't understand this photo either hahaha

meet prada. there was a best dressed competition and this boy (his name is jesse he's always always well dressed) wore prada HE SHOULD WIN RIGHT?? unfortunately there was a tie between him and two other boys and they decided the winner by shouting "girls run to the man you think is best dressed!" and then there was a mad dash. this other guy bryan won by one girl but by no means was he bested dressed. it's just cos he's super smart, future ubs ibanker, so all the b school girls are crushing on him. so yeah. prada i support you!

back row. extreme left. bryan yip. best dressed? you've got to be kidding